


thicker than blood

by allusive



Series: pokeglobal 3 [6]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions, Pokemon Duel (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, THIS IS JUST SORT OF DEPRESSING BUT ITS OKAY, also Saturn gets shot at the end (dont worry he lives), also this ends as a cliffhanger bc i just didnt really wanna write anymore sorry everyone, multiple mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allusive/pseuds/allusive
Summary: saturn thinks about his time at team galactic, and why he still stays, after all this time.I only wanted to write like the first three paragraphs of this and the rest of it is just me trying to end the fic
Relationships: Akagi | Cyrus & Saturn, Jupiter/Mars (Pokemon), Saturn/Zero/Number 7/Ice (Pokemon)
Series: pokeglobal 3 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852948
Kudos: 5





	thicker than blood

Team Galactic had been everything to him. 

He’s never been close to anyone before that, the phrase “blood is thicker than water” has never meant anything, especially to someone like him, thrown out and ostracized by his so-called “blood”. While he was never extremely close to Jupiter and Mars, he still felt a sort of kinship with them, words unspoken between the three that made him feel like they knew exactly what it felt like to have nothing else but their hopes in the stars, dreaming of a better world where they didn’t have to suffer anymore at the hands of the people that should have been there for them. Passing conversations before meetings or in the halls of Galactic were something that he missed more than ever, the grey and shiny metal of the halls just felt empty and barren without them as he walks through them, this time alone, the only commander left.

Even with that connection he felt that the three of them had, he’d always known that he didn’t mean as much to them as they’d meant to each other, the irony of their namesake planets in space being right next to each other versus his own namesake being further away only exemplified it. From the very beginning of their bickering and fights, he could see the lingering feelings that both of them had for one other, feelings that he understood well, having them for another member of Galactic himself, but despite these feelings he knows that it might not even matter in the end when the world is destroyed and reformed by their grand plans. Jupiter and Mars were the type of couple that would insult each other but get angry if you’d agreed with anything they’d said, the type of couple that even after they’d have a terrible fight would still absolutely do anything for one another without question. He could never understand that part of their relationship, if you could call it a relationship in the first place — apparently they  _ weren’t  _ dating (whenever he’d asked either of them they’d deny it, Mars with a reddened face and Jupiter’s eyes darting away from his own), but they might as well should be. His relationship with Cyrus is somewhat odd, if he’s being honest, it’s mostly professional, but whenever he tries to learn more about him most of the time he gets nothing from the other man despite Cyrus knowing most, if not all of Saturn’s life. Despite this fact, he doesn’t mind— he’s still the one closest to Cyrus, being his second in command and lieutenant commander. He’s not sure what to categorize it as, so he simply doesn’t. He’s not sure how he should categorize his relationship with Zero either— while he does have feelings for the other, he’s not sure how to go about it at all. The two of them got along well enough, Nil being quiet and easily flustered, whenever they’d spend time together he’d often “accidentally” brush their hands close, or reach over for something on the other side of Nil’s body just to catch a glimpse of his reddening face before acting like he’d done nothing. He’s too much of a coward to actually ask Nil how he feels in fear of losing him, but he’s relatively sure that he doesn’t mind it at the least from his reactions and their interactions with one another afterwards, and that’s enough for him.

Despite the bonds that he thought they’d had, after the events at Spear Pillar, Jupiter and Mars had made their departure from Galactic very quickly. With Charon’s disappearance as well, there were suddenly no other commanding officers in the ranks besides him, and he’s quickly looked to for guidance. He considers leaving himself, but he has nowhere else to go, and like him, the large majority of Galactic’s grunts have no home themselves, and he quickly realizes that  all of them are left in his hands. He wonders if Cyrus had intended for this, having confided in him that he sees Galactic as his home, but the responsibility of leading Galactic is something he’s never wanted. “Extremism is never the solution”, he’d said to Dawn, when she’d spoken to him after everything. When she’d first begun to appear, messing with their plans, he disliked her for the feeble attempts in getting in the way of things, but now? He can’t hate her, he realizes, nothing she did could have changed anything that had happened, in the end, with Cyrus, with Jupiter, with Mars, with  _ Zero _ , with everything else. 

Reforming Galactic wasn’t too difficult of a task. The grunts are doing most of the same work as they usually do, the only thing being that they begin actually making quite a bit of progress and money. While he’s happy that Galactic is still running, Saturn feels the cold grip of loneliness nipping him every night as he sleeps in the same apartment he’s lived in for the past couple of years, but the only difference this time is that Jupiter and Mars no longer live in the rooms just a walk down the hall away, and despite them never really living in the same place he still feels like he’s alone. The loneliness is only expanded on when he thinks about Zero,  _ Nil _ , who is still unaccounted for after all this time. He’s called him over and over as soon as he was able to, but with no answer there’s not much he can really do. With his calls going right to voicemail every time no matter when or how many times he calls, he can only assume that something’s happened to him, or Nil just doesn’t want to speak to him anymore for whatever reason, so he stops - or tries to, at the least. He can’t help but call every time he thinks about him, whenever he’s sad or lonely, which is a lot - he starts rambling every night in the voicemail’s timed recording window about how much he misses everything, how much he misses Jupiter, Mars, Cyrus, and  _ him,  _ and he doesn't even care if Nil never listens to them or if he just deletes them, because the hope that he might answer him someday is the only thing keeping him continuing. He waits, and he waits, waiting for someone to come back, to remember, hoping that someone will notice that he’s still there - but obviously, nothing ever comes of it, so he begins to research. The distortion world, where Cyrus is. It starts as a passing hobby, then it utterly consumes him, like the waves on a beach pulling back before an entire wave crashes onto the shore. An hour of research slowly turns into a day, then a week, and before he knows it it’s been months and years but he has absolutely nothing to show for it. His drive to find Cyrus slowly morphs into a hatred, a dark spite welling inside of him because Cyrus  _ knew  _ how lonely he was, and despite putting everything he’d had into everything that he was assigned, he was still never told of Cyrus’s true intentions, intentions that he would have fully understood had he been confided in. He realizes that Cyrus had never  _ trusted _ him enough to tell him the truth, despite him putting all of it into him, and he comes to the realization that maybe, he meant absolutely nothing to him in the first place. He thinks of Jupiter and Mars, who he assumes are still together after all this time, and his thoughts swing back to Nil, who hasn’t contacted him either, and he feels a bitterness rising in his throat when he finally begins to accept that none of them will ever come back for him because Galactic had never meant as much to them as it did to him. 

As time continues to pass, Saturn finds himself tormented by nightmares. They’re always the same, Cyrus, Jupiter, Mars, mocking him for ever thinking he’d meant anything at all, Nil telling him that he’s foolish, that he’s never thought of him of anything but a nuisance, every night. The days go by quickly, every day the same. Before he knows it he’s 27 years old, with no aspiration. Sure, he’s the CEO of Galactic, he makes good money, he makes sure his employees are paid - but it doesn’t  _ matter _ , if nobody actually cares about him. He begins to make plans to die. He wants to go quietly, quickly, just finally end things so maybe in the next life he can finally experience how it feels to matter. But as he’s making the preparations he remembers Nil. He doesn’t want to die before knowing what happened to him, before being able to hear his voice again. What he finds when he finally looks him up after all these years comes as a complete shock. Nil’s been arrested, for attempted murder and a handful of other crimes, things that he’s never expected from him. He begins researching again, his plans for suicide thrown to the side in favor of finding his friend again, and when he finally contacts him he discovers that Nil already has someone else, a man by the name of Number 7. He can’t control his jealousy when he first joins, opting to call Nil by his moniker,  _ Zero, _ to see if he reacts, even a little bit, but he doesn’t, and Saturn finds himself spiraling into hatred and  _ jealousy _ as he immediately agrees to meet Number 7 for a few games of PFG to size him up. What he won’t admit is that he’s less upset that Nil’s seemed to have moved on without him and more upset at  _ himself _ for not being able to, and when he loses he almost feels like crying because it’s cementing what he already knows about himself - that he’s a loser, with nothing in his life that nobody cares about. His visit to Nil’s house only makes things worse - Nil seems to be completely fine without him, and he finds himself spiraling again, but as he finds himself held and comforted by Nil’s roommate that night he finds that he’s able to sleep soundly for the first time in years.

Over the next few days he finds himself talking to the man named Ice - or Kei, as his real name is, playing video games together online. With every day they speak, Saturn finds that the warm feeling that he’d harboured (and still harbours) for Nil begins to spread to how he feels about Kei, and he’s not sure what to do about it. He thinks about Jupiter, about Mars, and he wonders where they are - he wants to talk to them about his feelings. He knows they’d probably poke fun at him for being so unsure of himself - it’s unlike him, they would say, but he doesn’t even care if they would make fun of him as long as they were there to do so. He misses them more than he wants to admit, really - he’s said before that his relationship with the two of them was “purely business”, and it wasn’t a lie, but the three of them had always had an unspoken kinship that none of them would ever give words to. Even though he wasn’t as close to them as he’d been to Nil or even Cyrus, he still missed the both of them extremely so, but with no way to contact them and no idea where either of them were, he gives up on that avenue entirely. 

Eventually as he begins to stay with Number 7, he’s not sure how he feels. His first feeling toward him back when they’d first met was foggy - a mix of jealousy, admiration, and curiosity, but now, his feelings towards Number 7 (or  _ Hal,  _ as he calls him now) are foggy and muddled, and he finds himself maybe, even gaining  _ feelings,  _ towards him. It’s a weird feeling, having such strong feelings for three people at once, but he finds himself in this situation anyways - it especially being odd since, just earlier in the year he’d been planning on ending his own life. He’s not upset about it, surprisingly - it makes him feel warm inside, makes him want to keep living, a feeling he’s almost  _ never  _ felt in his life - and it’s a feeling that he wants to keep going, no matter the cost.  _ No matter the cost _ , he thinks, as he whispers, “You know what to do if something happens,” to Infi, listening through his phone, as he hears someone enter the hotel room - and as he goes down and time seems to slow, he remembers Galactic - he remembers Vera, Riya, Sirius, and Nil, he thinks about the time at Galactic he spent with them where he was genuinely happy, before he hits the ground, ears ringing. As he bleeds out from the gunshot wound, he can’t help but laugh a bit.

Blood isn’t thick at all.


End file.
